My Archives: April 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I am at the PSU library. I had a few things to do for English class and now I am relaxing. I really don't feel like going to class though. :( I am so tired!
After my two classes I have to take my car to get inspected and go babysit. I also want to find time to study for my psych exam. I'm debating whether or not I should go to Matthew's house. It's a lot of gas but I figured I can print my psych notes and study there. I really need an A on this exam, which is tomorrow at 4. >.< I am just so glad this is the last week of classes. Thankfully I only have one more class on Thursday with Dr. Z, and I don't think we're having English class on Thursday, so that makes only one class, yay!
I started a new blog that is going to document my surgery experience. It can be found at http://katiebanana.blogspot.com Peace out.
Posted by Katie @ 08:19 AM EST [Link]
Monday, April 28, 2008
I was falling asleep in my nutrition class earlier this afternoon. Which means I'll probably fall asleep completely in my psych class at 4. Dr. L always dims the light and puts on the powerpoint, which just makes me want to sleep even more. :( I woke up at 8:30 this morning and jumped out of bed to deliver Matt his work shirt at school before heading to Abington myself.
Hooray, it is the last week of classes and I am excited! After that I have a week of two finals and then a week of a summer course, KINES 126. The following Tuesday is my surgery. I am really, really PSYCHED.
I'm trying to find something to eat but there isn't much. I'm going to be hungry tonight at work. >.<
Posted by Katie @ 02:42 PM EST [Link]
Friday, April 25, 2008
A IN MY SPEECH CLASS WHEEEEEE!!!!!!
Posted by Katie @ 02:20 PM EST [Link]
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I'm in a computer lab in the Lares building. I've got a lot of school work coming up in the next week and a half (next week is the last one before finals!) I have two papers and a speech, not to mention two finals to study for, AND a psych test. I am so stressed. I know it doesn't seem like much but...
For a few days I was considering dropping my major and going into something else, such as journalism, but my dad convinced me not to do this. Just because I have a few bad experiences early on (and they are bound to happen at some point) doesn't mean I should just give up. I had the best time teaching with Mrs. I when I was a senior in high school. I'm sure I will have times like that sometime soon, right? And the kids are great, for the most part. Maybe it is for me after all??? I just wish I was more confident about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. :(
Matt got a summer internship! I think that is very exciting. Good for him! He will make lots of money, and even though it is really me who needs the money, not him, I am still happy for him. I know it seems like I'm not so far, but I have supported him in everything he's done. I will support him to the end!
I have an 11 o'clock edpyshc class that I don't want to go to, but I have to take a quiz and pick a topic and article for the paper I have to do by next week. That's one of the two papers I need to have done before finals. :(
This evening is babysitting. 2:30 to 10 or so. I don't really feel like going, but the parents are counting on me. I'd rather just see my Matthew because I miss him, but I need to be paid tonight. I owe Matt lots of money for the phone bill.
Posted by Katie @ 10:28 AM EST [Link]
Monday, April 21, 2008
At school. I'm trying to work up the motivation to actually start some research for my persuasive speech. I'm going to have to get on that right away, since we start speeches on Friday!!!
I am addicted to my iPod now. <3 ^__^
Peace out!
Posted by Katie @ 12:06 PM EST [Link]
Saturday, April 19, 2008
My shift at Hallmark began at 9:30 this morning. I had to blow up and tie a dozen latex balloons. >.< Marilyn was there to help with tying on the ribbons, but it was still a pain. Even so, I did it in about ten minutes. Yay! But then another customer came in later that afternoon and wanted a dozen, so I had to do another dozen. Marilyn couldn't do it because she has arthritis, so I was stuck. It wasn't so bad though. I'm getting much better. ^_^ So anyway, as well as tying tons of balloons, I also organized the cards and envelopes in four card sections, and cleaned the candy section (removed all the candy, wiped the shelves, and replaced the candy. Exciting stuff, I know). Matt came in at about quarter to 2, when my shift ended at 2. I was so excited to see him! We went to the mall and then came home. He took a nap and I went for a walk. I also started a new short story!!!!!
We went to the mall a second time and I got a few new pairs of pants from Aeropostale. Now we are at home and he is watching Myth Busters while I type. We're planning on going to see 21 at the 309 Theater. at ten o'clock, so we'll probably leave at 9:15 or so. It'll be fun. I haven't been to a movie theater in a small while. :D
Okay, I'm out!
Posted by Katie @ 08:59 PM EST [Link]
Friday, April 18, 2008
Work tonight from 6 to 9. Work tomorrow 9:30 to 2. I get to start the day blowing up and tying a dozen latex balloons. ='( And then on Sunday work again 1 to 5. I am tired all the time, and especially (sick and) tired of school. I WANT SUMMER!
Posted by Katie @ 11:08 PM EST [Link]
Thursday, April 17, 2008
I really HATE school. I can't wait to get the fuck out of Abington, quite frankly. I feel as if it's a lot like SRMS: in other words, it's trying to ruin my life!
I went for a walk this morning. It was nice out, and I put my iPod on shuffle. I am addicted to downloading music videos. I have "Smooth Criminal" by AAF (YAY Dryden Mitchell!!!! ^_^), "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard, and "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada. Matt and my theme song!
Anyway, I have a couple things I need to do this week regarding school (*ick*) I have to get started on my persuasive speech, picking a topic and all, and also on my paper for edpsych. *sigh* Can we just skip straight to finals week?
Feel better Chan!
Posted by Katie @ 09:05 AM EST [Link]
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Babysitting was fun today. I came and talked to Steve, the father, and then made the kids grilled cheese sandwiches. We also went outside and played in the backyard with the soccer and footballs, and played a board game. After that I gave them baths and read to Brenden and then Heather came home. All in all, a fun night. I'm going back there tomorrow night from 6 to 10. Can't wait! =)
Tomorrow is also going to be an easy day of classes. I have an 11 o'clock speech class and my nutrition class is canceled so then I have a 4 o'clock psych class before babysitting. Piece of cake.
I am nearing the time that I need to be making a doctor's appointment for my physical. I'm supposed to have that done within a month of surgery, so I have to do it after April 20th. Simply cannot wait much longer! :D
Posted by Katie @ 11:46 PM EST [Link]
I am starting to hate Penn State Abington. No, actually, I have hated them for a long time, almost since I started going there. Don't get me wrong, many of my teachers there were wonderful, and are wonderful. But then I've got one teacher who is a total prick who thinks he is such a hot shot, and another who has issues giving A's on papers, just 'cause. I am sorry if I seem so bitter about my experiences at Abington, but I am hoping that UPark will be considerably better. If not, I don't know how I'm going to survive up there for another two years. =(
My speech teacher went to a job fair and brought back a pile of flyer's for us to look through. I am trying to figure out if I can get an internship this summer but I doubt I will have any time. Nor will I be able to find anything that I will actually enjoy doing in the least. *sigh* It seems I have accomplished little, both in school and in all other areas of my life. Things that should count toward me becoming a teacher. And I am seriously starting to doubt myself. Sure I'm good with children, and I'm a great babysitter, so I've been told. But there's a whole hell of a lot more to teaching than "being good with children" or being a "great babysitter". Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just not for me. ='(
Posted by Katie @ 01:27 PM EST [Link]
Monday, April 14, 2008
Please stop calling me, texting me, asking me if I want to go to lunch, coming into work to visit me. Stop calling me up late at night and begging for me back, saying that I was the best and most beautiful girl for you. Stop, stop, STOP!
I had accepted to speak to you because I wanted to be nice, and it is, of course, in my nature to be nice to people even when they have wronged me. But it has gone far enough. I am with someone now who cares a great deal about me, and I reciprocate those feelings that he has for me. I am planning on marrying him when we graduate from college. It is just a matter of time before I receive my ring from him on one knee. And I cannot take that huge step if you are still in my life. He is not happy about it and I love him. I will not keep things from him, and I will only do what makes him feel comfortable. Since you make him uneasy and you clash over me, I must choose. And you know what the outcome of my decision will be. You know darn well, yet you continue to throw logs on a fire that has long since burned itself out.
I have regretted our relationship. It made my tenth and eleventh grade years at UDHS a living nightmare, or at least many parts of it. I will not deny that there were periods of time back in those days that I remember and that at one time made me smile. But there were also times that made me cry into my pillow for weeks on end, back when it happened. Now I have learned from you, that I am capable of rising above the abuse, the sadness, the anger and frustration. I remember those nights. We went mini-golfing with your friends and you got upset because the game wasn't going your way and you humiliated me by throwing a tantrum, a violent, scary tantrum. Then there was the day at school when you wanted to walk me to the cafeteria for lunch but I told you that you had class but no hall pass and to get out of there before you got caught. That made you angry too, angry enough to put your fist into the wall. The next thing I knew, you were in the cafeteria with a bandaged hand. I wondered what you had told the nurse.
There was so much more, but I refuse to think about it now. I am no longer a scared little teenager unsure of the consequences of loving and trusting too openly. I have learned from you and have chosen another man who gives me everything that you never had given me before. He provides me with security. I feel safe with him. With you, there was always danger, danger for my well-being, my happiness. I was too afraid to leave you until you went way too far. I never thought that I would have the strength to carry on, and I wasn't even sure that I wanted to be part of a new relationship. But then I found him, and our love just sort of blossomed. I couldn't control this feeling, so I just let it go until it grew and grew so much, I felt like a different person entirely.
You are no longer a threat to me, but more of a nuisance. I cannot say that I regret meeting you because you have taught me a lot about love, but I can say that I regret nothing from my decision to leave you. In truth, I don't know why I loved you the way I did. You were incapable of the simplest tasks, such as graduating on time. Maybe it sounds insignificant, but when you add all of the insignificant things together, they become quite significant.
In short, what I am trying to say is to move on. You have a girlfriend now. I have a boyfriend. I'm not sure how you feel about her, but I can say that I love him with all of my heart. Stop trying to change that.
It's over. Like I said before, stop trying to feed a fire that no longer burns.
- Katie
Posted by Katie @ 02:52 PM EST [Link]
Sunday, April 13, 2008
I went to work from 1 to 5 today. It was a pretty boring day. We had some random busy times, but for the most part we were dead, like most Sundays. I did a few audits: Warm Wishes and Between You and Me cards, and organized the cards and envelopes in the O section of the Everyday cards. After that I was pretty much sick of doing audits and envelope counting. Amanda had already inventoried the entire Easter card section before I got there, so she wasn't about to touch the Telxon, lol. We had some last minute (and a last second) customer(s) but other than that it was an okay, somewhat easy day.
I should be reading for English, but I'm going to procrastinate by playing on the internet and taking a shower and cleaning my room and...I'll find other stuff to do, ha ha.
So I'm still feeling stressed out from all the stuff left over from last week, but I think I've got it under control. Or at least I hope so. Tomorrow is a busy day: classes all day and then work 6 to 9. Tuesday is classes and babysitting. It is going to be a very exhausting week but that is okay. Exhausting = $$$
Posted by Katie @ 06:45 PM EST [Link]
Can't sleep. Tiiiiired. Lots on my mind.
More later.
Posted by Katie @ 12:23 AM EST [Link]
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Matt is taking a nap and then we are going to go to Blockbuster. I am so happy. This morning I lost another half pound! That makes 21 pounds down since last summer! Such an exciting thing for me. :)
I went to the mall earlier this afternoon with my mommy and Mrs. Myic. We went in Aero to try to find a bathing suit but they were all so boring. I like the one I have that I got from eBay. It's the best bathing suit in the world. ;) So we also went to Macy's but they hardly had any selection of bathing suits. Instead we looked at the sales racks of clothing and went to the lingerie department. I looked at the bras and found one my size. Then I found the same one in size B, two cups smaller than me. I remembered my doctor saying that I would be a B cup after the surgery next month. And I held up that perfect little bra and told my mom and Mrs. Myic: "THIS is gonna be ME???" :D Awesome!
Anyway, I just finished watching Joe Dirt, which is on Comedy Central every day practically. I'm going to go wake up Matt soon. Peace out!
Posted by Katie @ 07:57 PM EST [Link]
Friday, April 11, 2008
I am listening to the acoustic version of "Stellar". And I'm crying. I am so mixed up and confused. I don't know what to think anymore. On one hand, he gives me so much love and kindness. He is never mean. And I have so many wonderful memories of us in high school, getting to know each other, having a good time at prom, the summer months, etc.
On the other hand, he gives me very little. Like right now. I called him several times today and left him voice messages. I texted him and asked him what he was up to. He said "Hanging out". I said "Ignoring my calls" and he hasn't replied. Since he left for Maryland on Wednesday night, he has called me once, and that was only for about five minutes. I feel ignored, neglected, and hurt. I know he loves me, but the thing is, he never, ever shows it. He's not affectionate, he never gives me hugs or kisses anymore unless I instigate them. And he rarely ever supports me in anything. He makes fun of my major all the time with his friends, saying that engineering is so much more difficult than teaching. He doesn't defend me, like when his friends say that my major isn't a "real" major, and when his one friend smacked me and I told him about it, he did nothing.
After all the support and encouragement I gave to him, to all of them, this is how I'm thanked. I love him unconditionally, and I really don't expect much in return. But is a little bit of love too much to ask? I am sitting with my cell phone on the kitchen counter, waiting for it to ring, for him to say hello, how are you, I miss you, like I do all the time for him. But it's always the same. He never has a few minutes to spare when we're both at school, or doing whatever.
I think I'm going to call him and make my voice heard, for once. I'll finish later.
Posted by Katie @ 10:15 PM EST [Link]
I don't even know why I'm up so early. Somehow I managed to drag myself out of bed at 8. Usually I sleep in a lot and then rush to class. Today I have two classes and then I have work from 5 to 9. It's a pretty easy day. I don't even mind going to work that much. I'll probably just have to either check in more ED stuff or help put out the Gund stuffed animals that I checked in on Wednesday night. Like I said, piece of cake.
I just checked weather.com and it is warm out so I'm going to go for a walk. It's supposed to rain so I want to walk before it does. See ya.
Posted by Katie @ 08:21 AM EST [Link]
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Just to be sure, I e-mailed an adviser from the College of Education to make sure the classes I've chosen will work out. Just in case I made a mistake.
A few other updates: I lost more weight...yaaaay!!! I am now down in the teens for the first time in over a year. So exciting!
I also scheduled my vacation with Matt to Ocean City MD for June 23rd to the 26th. Also exciting!
I have to go to class and take a test. See you soon!
Posted by Katie @ 09:55 AM EST [Link]
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I have spent hours over the course of the past few days trying to figure out what I'm going to do about my schedule next semester and, for that matter, the semesters to follow. What happened was that Penn State Abington advisers instructed me to take too many gen. ed. courses and not enough major courses. So now I have all of these important courses I need to take and not enough time to take them. Plus the stuff with the prereqs is a really sticky situation. I have this one prereq that I need that doesn't show up on the list of courses offered at UPark. It fact, it doesn't seem to be offered anywhere. Confused? So am I. Maybe they changed the course number, but then again, if they did, why wouldn't they update the scheduling site?
As it stands, I am taking a one-week summer course in May, Kines 126, and staying at UPark for an extra semester (5 instead of just 4). Yeah, I'm pissed about it, but ranting and raving about how much Penn State Abington screwed me over isn't going to change the fact that they did. I need to DO something about it, fix the problem myself since the advisers are all so incompetent anyway. And that is exactly what I did. Here is what I'm taking:
EDPSYCH 101: education-related stat, no prereqs, I thought I'd get it over with now.
SPLED 400: teaching about mainstreaming and how tot each "exceptional" students in a general education setting. EDPSYCH 014 is the prereq, which I'm taking now.
HDFS 229: Human Development and Family Studies. This is a prereq for a later class.
E C E 451: Early Childhood Education. This is a required class and also a prereq for other classes that I also need.
ASTRO 001: Astronomy. I need to take a science lab, and this is the prereq for the lab part.
ASTRO 011: Astronomy lab.
I also managed to get the whole shuttle bus / walking / how-am-I-getting-to-class deal worked out. In all, I'm really proud of how well I pulled this together despite how much of a bitch Abington was to me and how I can't wait to get out of there! I scheduled those classes all by myself with no help from my adviser this semester and I did a good job. Maybe I would have been better off doing this myself all along.
Anyway, class at 4 and then work at 5:30. Later!
Posted by Katie @ 02:57 PM EST [Link]
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I don't really understand why, but for some strange reason, I am finding that my motivation and enthusiasm for school is quickly dwindling. I don't know if it is boredom or just plain laziness, but I cannot seem to get schoolwork done. It is starting to affect my grades in individual classes. *sigh* I am going to have to put a stop to it.
Last night my dad and I spent over an hour trying to figure out what classes I'm taking next year at UPark. As is, it looks like I'm two classes behind, which isn't too bad, but it just makes me so mad that Penn State is constantly screwing me over by not telling me which classes I need to take. The advisers are so useless! I am going to see mine today at common break to find out if the classes I am planning to take are really what I need. I guess I will find out, huh?
The good news is, summer is drawing near, so that means that it is getting closer and closer to Move-In Day! I can hardly wait! I'm really excited, even though I know I will be really, really homesick. But there's something about change that I really like. As I've said before, I've lived here my entire life. Time for something new! I want a different kind of life, on my own, with new people and a new setting. I want to know what college is REALLY supposed to be like.
Anyway, I was at work last night so I'm pretty tired. I'm going to go relax. Later!
Posted by Katie @ 07:47 AM EST [Link]
Sunday, April 6, 2008
So I came back from Purdue late last night. I spent most of today working on the video of the trip. It first took me three hours to figure out why .AVI movie files don't run on Mac Leopard and to download the patches to allow the video and audio to play. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon working on the first part. I want Matt to see it and give me some suggestions before I actually compress it and upload it to YouTube. I'll be sure to announce when that happens. ;)
So even though I had an amazing time in Indiana, I will be the first to admit that I was homesick. Yeah, gone for one night, only a few states away, but I was homesick. I missed my car! Ha ha. I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to go away to State College in August. I am going to be very sad. I'll be living there for months on end, sure, maybe coming home for the holidays and maybe once a month on the weekend, but I'll mostly be gone. The good news is that I will have tons of people to socialize with, not just Matt, but his friends and mine as well. So there is no chance that I am going to be an outcast, or even be all that lonely. I'm just going to miss good old Dresher Pennsylvania, the ten-mile radius where I have lived my entire life, all twenty years. But seriously, it is going to be different. It's not something I have given too much thought to yet, but it is definitely going to take some adjustment.
I don't want to get too wishy-washy right now, so I'll leave it at that. I'm not going to start going crazy until maybe June or July, when reality sets in for good. But right now I've got a little bit of homework to get done. I will post at a later time.
Posted by Katie @ 05:28 PM EST [Link]
Friday, April 4, 2008
Today has been a long, looooong day. Matt and I got up at 4 this morning (after going to bed at 1) and headed to the airport. We caught a 6:45 flight to Indianapolis. I fell asleep on the plane in the beginning because it was having maintenance problems that delayed us for over an hour. I was so exhausted.
Once there, we rented two Volvo's with the two engineer professors driving and traveled to Lafayette, about an hour away. We dropped off our stuff at the hotel and went to Purdue campus. We spent two hours walking around and exploring the buildings. Of course, this was after our long day. Then we came back to the hotel, even more exhausted than before. All the guys got changed and left for the banquet. I'm here watching a ghost documentary on the Travel Channel and typing. In a little while I'm probably going to shower up and take a nap.
Good news is, I've been taking lots of excellent footage and I'm going to make some sweet videos with it. I'll let everyone know when its done!
Posted by Katie @ 05:34 PM EST [Link]
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
So I am officially a bunnie again. Hooray! I missed it a lot and I decided last week that I wanted to be a bunnie again, so Kitkat is back! I have a lot to update about, but before I get any of that done, I really want to get a layout up. Years ago I had done a pink and white striped layout (I don't know if anyone remembers that) all by myself with no outside help. It was pretty cute too. Anyway, I'd like to get that up within the next few weeks. I happened to really miss it. =)
Lizzy, you need to give me the password to Hazelorb. I can't figure it out, ha ha. I thought about it for a while, but then I was like...nope. Can't do it.
School is busy busy. I am actually supposed to be working on a lesson plan tonight and tomorrow night, but I was so excited to become a bunnie all over again that I had to update first. I'm going to go work on my layout now. Off I go.
Posted by Katie @ 08:39 PM EST [Link]
Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...